Trigger Warning: Sexual Assault
One year ago, on October 26, 2019, I walked into my local police station on a cold Saturday morning. I was driving by and had enough courage to pull in right at that moment. I texted my husband to tell him it was time, and he encouraged me to do whatever I needed to do, however long it took.
Two weeks before this date, I finished watching Unbelievable on Netflix. The show was recommended to me by a close friend of mine with a major trigger warning. It follows the justices and injustices of the victims of a serial rapist. It is based on true accounts. As I watched the brave women in the final episode place blame righly on their abuser for the effects of the abuse they endured, I broke down in sobs and began researching laws pertaining to crimes against children and sexual assault. I too wanted to receive justice.
While researching, I learned that you can report a crime, no matter how long ago it was, and that statute of limitations only applies to convictions, but there isn’t a statute of limitations for sexual assault crimes against children due to the nature of the crime and how memory works. I learned that what I experienced and how I experienced it is extremely normal and common. If it is that normal and common, why hadn’t I heard about it before? I knew at that moment that I would have to face a police officer and report the crime that happened to me.
Writing and talking about this is never easy, but I know my story isn’t in isolation. It is one among thousands like it. And I know that my story has already emboldened other women to take action against their abusers, which is why I keep sharing it.
I read this poem in Glennon Doyle’s book, Untamed. It describes how I view my work on the podcast:
“The small women
Builds cages for everyone
While the sage,
Who has to duck her head
When the moon is low
Keeps dropping keys all night long
After reporting, I got curious about why I believed for so long that I couldn’t do anything to receive justice. I also got curious as to why I received intense criticism for reporting from family members… and it all tied back to how they fundamentally viewed God’s creation of women and her role in the world. And that’s what the podcast is all about. Connecting my experiences, and those of other survivors, to the way the church teaches us about men and women, all while hoping that the podcast drops keys to women, freeing them from oppressive views that prevent them from fully living.
The episodes are incredible. I am immensely proud of the guests and the All at Once team for pulling this together. The season will be released to the public from Nov 9 to Dec 21. If you don’t want to wait until then to hear more of the story, I encourage you to become a monthly financial patron: www.patreon.com/allatonce
If paying monthly isn’t your jam, you are welcome to give a one time gift to unlock the episodes. Simply respond to this email if you’d like more info on that. One year of the podcast costs us $3500. Thank you for becoming a part of that investment with me.